A dear friend mentioned something to me a couple months ago that I shall never forget. She remarked on the difference between loved and used, and as I thought about what she said, I realized there is so much truth in those words.
We often say we love something or someone, but we don’t always act like it. Sometimes we tend to “love” that something or someone so much that we use them up, and then it can hardly be called real love in the first place.
True love seeks to serve others rather than be served, for it is shown in action rather than mere words.
My grandparents are all gone now, but I well remember my Great Grandma. I remember how she always made sure she had a large Tupperware container of homemade cookies whenever we came to visit her. Those cookies became a legend in their own time, for as the years passed, they became worse and worse. But we appreciated Grandma’s efforts (cat hair and all) and the love she showed in her actions.
Too often in our busy lives we can tend to take those around us for granted, and in doing so, actually use them up without meaning to.
But people can be like a campfire—if we don’t replenish it with wood, eventually it will go out because it used up all the available fuel.
Faces are an interesting study because in them you have a snapshot of some of the landmarks in a person’s life. I suspect those faces that beam with a sweet, quiet joy are those who have known the kind of love that replenishes, both in giving and receiving.
On the other hand, those that look like they are tired of life and it hasn’t much to offer them anymore have probably traveled a hard road; their efforts and themselves were used but not appreciated.
It reminds me of Ephesians 5 when God tells man to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, without spot or wrinkle. In the Greek, spot means a stain, but wrinkle means old age.
As Christians, our bodies may become old and worn and we may feel sometimes like a left over from a garage sale; but our soul should become stronger and sweeter for the experiences in life.
My friend who remarked on the difference between the two words has passed on to her reward in Heaven. But she was so loved by others because she acted out her love to others. And I have seldom seen more joy on anyone’s face. Her smile would light up a room.
Yes, her hair was white and she had her own list of physical ailments, but her soul was strong and well, and it showed in her face. She hadn’t allowed herself to be used up.
