Numbers

By Connie Pinkham

The fourth book of our Bible takes its name from the counting of the Hebrew men of war during the longest funeral march in history. The men who had gone ahead to assess the area they were to conquer came back with a report that was far from unanimous and the people refused to go forward in following God’s instructions. In unbelief at Kadesh-Barnea, they turned back.

The first count of fighting men was 603,550, the second count 601,730. Only two of those men walked into the land that God had promised. Only two! “God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.” (1 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)

In Egypt, they had been delivered by the blood of the lamb, but now because of unbelief in the God who displayed His power ten times over, they failed to enter the inheritance that was promised…an inheritance to be claimed by faith.

Where is our Kadesh? When we come to a place where we must trust God and continue to walk in obedience, do we turn back in unbelief? At what place have we failed to fulfill the purposes of God in our own lives, choosing rather to believe the nay-sayers?

Our Bibles are packed with history lessons. The apostle Paul urged the people of Corinth, (and we do well to listen), “Remember our history, friends, and be warned. All our ancestors were led by the providential Cloud and taken miraculously through the Sea. They went through the waters, in a baptism like ours, as Moses led them from enslaving death to salvation life. They all ate and drank identical food and drink, meals provided daily by God. They drank from the Rock, God’s fountain for them that stayed with them wherever they were. And that Rock was Christ.” (1 Corinthians 10: 1-4 from The Message)

Most political conversations offer the argument of learning from history, taking measures to see that history is not repeated. And I agree! The mistakes of world powers and the horrors of war should be learned from and by all means not repeated. But it is paramount to bring those ideals down to personal level. I don’t sit in the governor’s chair, nor the desk in the oval office. But I sit behind the decision-making desk of my life. Paul’s words challenge me often, “…so far as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18 NASB)

Evil exists. We who wear the Name of Jesus are not exempt from it. The attacks come. The words are hurled, the ridicule, the accusations, the blame…the shaming.

My family has walked thru a bit of that after a devastating tragedy. A decade ago.

Ten years sounds like a long time, but ten years sure can fly by fast. At first, we counted the number of minutes, then hours. Then we numbered the days and the nights. Then we counted weeks, then months. Praise God we are now counting years! Our baby Jett-man was two and a half years old when a bullet passed thru his brain.

I stopped counting the time publicly, it seemed to be a painful remembrance, interrupting the joy of having a little boy talking and walking, then running! The pain of it all got swallowed up in the joy of seeing that little boy alive, living normally except for a little left hand that doesn’t respond and a slight limp, results of paralysis from the traumatic brain injury he has suffered.

This June, as I think about all that tragedy that ripped thru our family ten years ago, I remember the words of a Psalm. “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12 NASB) Life is so fragile and uncertain. The apostle Paul advises us to “Make the most of every chance you get…Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants…Don’t drink too much wine, that cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of Him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the Name of our Master Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:16-20 from The Message)

For weeks after Jett’s tragedy, I learned from my sister what had transpired that day at Children’s Hospital in Little Rock. I passed it on to family and close friends, it helped relieve her from some of the burden of telling the same thing over and over, even to immediate family and the closest friends. I began using Facebook. For weeks we sought the Lord’s healing and restoration. I became known as Aunt Connie to strangers. But better than that, God was magnified in the tragedy and lives were changed. Our family, but others too.

Many times I have said that Facebook is what you make it.

You want to gossip? You can.

You want to criticize and agitate? You can.

You want to be mean and nasty? You can.

It became a lifeline for us, communicating to family far and near, friends, and people who joined in bombarding heaven for Jett.

You can build a Facebook presence of encouraging pages, follow kind people, hilarious people, interesting new things, new places, recipes, news, devotionals, teachings, etc. etc. For me, when a comment is ugly, I unfollow that commenter and never have to see that nastiness again. It is my choice. One click and problem solved. You know that. Or… you can let the enemy draw you into the attacking. You can join in the ugliness. Me? Im not getting drawn in to anything that steals my peace!

I often told my boys, “You can make it better, or you can sure make it worse.” Jesus Himself said “be at peace with one another.”(Mark 9:50 NASB) And one of my very favorite verses from Paul to the Romans bears repeating in this essay…“If at all possible, so far as it depends on YOU, be at peace with all men.”(Romans 12:18 NASB, my emphasis)

Ten years ago, our family was crushed with a sorrow that was almost bloody. But we were blessed richly by people like Kenny Mitchell who was behind the scenes doing things that caressed our hearts with the love of Christ. Unfortunately, there was some ugliness. Harsh words, accusations. Paul said, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21 NASB) Rising to meet the ugly only increases the ugly. I confess, it was difficult not to let my fingers fly and tell a few folks what’s what. But it would have only fueled the fire.

The advice of the apostle Peter comes to my mind, “…these people are dried-up fountains, storm-scattered clouds, headed for a black hole in hell. They are loudmouths, full of hot air, but still they are dangerous.” (2 Peter 2:17-18 from The Message)

Our Jett will be a teenager his next birthday. I am sure there will be celebrations. But every single day is a celebration of his life. Every single one…

Hopefully, I will never suffer a gunshot wound. But my days are numbered. So are yours. Even if we die from incredibly old age, the days are numbered that we live in this flesh, in this realm.

Oh readers, let us purpose that our hearts gain wisdom from every struggle, every battle, nothing wasted, everything fully used to “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18 NASB).

Hallelujah